


Nightmares and Daydreams

by chunchun



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm terrible with titles, Nightmares, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Step-siblings, This came out of nowhere, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15014063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chunchun/pseuds/chunchun
Summary: Derek's been having nightmares lately. Casey's trying to deal with a different side of him she's never seen before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Watch me hyperfixate on a show that's been done for almost a decade. I came across a tweet a week or two ago reminiscing on the fact that we all wanted Casey and Derek to be together back when were kids and the show was airing. Then I remembered how I shipped this before I even knew what shipping was. 
> 
> Cue me scouring the internet for episodes, cute videos, old fics (and amazing new ones too, wow) and then me writing fic for the first time in 3 years. I just wanted to write something cute, though it may be a little OOC. :'D That's all this is! Hope to finish it soon..

It started out how any other day did. 

Well, that’s what Casey wanted to believe. Instead she found herself in Derek’s room at 3 in the morning, exhausted beyond belief, because she thought she heard screaming. Derek, screaming? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it either. 

But when she woke up to his voice yelling in what seemed like pain in the middle of the night, she hastily got out of bed and barged into his room without thinking. For all the hell he put her through, she didn’t actually wish anything bad to happen to him. She was sure he didn’t feel the same way about her, though.

As it turns out, she had no time to think about their outrageous relationship because the way he sounded just didn’t seem right. The first thing Casey noticed was the moonlight pouring through a sliver between the curtains at his bedroom window. And then her eyes found their way to his figure on the bed. Okay, so, no killer or anything psychotic happening in here was a huge plus.

She cautiously inched her way forward, her breath caught in her throat. She was way too tired to think about what she was doing. She tried to avoid coming into his room as much as possible, and the fact it was the middle of the night made everything a bit weirder. He lay there with his eyes scrunched closed, beads of sweat at his forehead. He thrashed his head to one side and groaned out uncomfortably.

A nightmare? 

She would’ve woken him up and made fun of him if not for the look of genuine discomfort on his face.

Nervously, she stuck out her arm, preparing to try to lightly grab him by the shoulder, when his breath started picking up. He kicked his legs out a bit and grunted, turning his head from side to side, gritting his teeth. Derek’s eyes were still tightly shut and he let out a whimper, and then another cry. Then he thrashed his head to the other side again. 

“C-Casey…” he muttered. 

Casey froze mid-movement and her heart immediately began pounding. He was having a nightmare about her? But before she could ponder further, he’d started breathing harshly again in what seemed like pain (or probably fear, to be honest), and Casey’s worrisome nature ended up getting the better of her.

“Derek,” she said softly, nudging him at the shoulder. He inhaled sharply and thrashed his legs again, his breath still coming out harshly. 

“W-wait…no, d-don’t,” he was muttering, his condition worsening. A bead of sweat poured down his forehead and Casey placed a knee on his bed, leaning over to shake him awake.

“Derek…wake up! Derek…DEREK!” she shouted out at the last moment, hoping and praying nobody else would wake up. His eyes bulged open and he jumped awake, one of his hands flying to grip at her wrist. He looked up at her with huge eyes, confused and panting. They just stared at each other, only the sound of their loud breathing audible in the dead of night. At least he was finally awake? 

She couldn’t shake off the feeling of the stare he was giving her as his confusion dissipated into realization, something between genuine fear and relief. It made him look a bit younger and for a split second she felt a wave of over-protection for Derek, the feeling completely unfamiliar to her. 

“W-What…why…” he stuttered, and she wondered what the hell he was dreaming that was so bad it rendered him speechless.

“You were having a nightmare,” she said flatly, trying to keep her voice low. “I’m only here because you were yelling like a madman and I didn’t want you waking up the whole house,” she added. While it wasn’t the entire truth, it wasn’t a lie either. He stared at her for a bit before sighing out and glancing down, using the hand that wasn’t holding her wrist to wipe his forehead. 

“I’m fine, you know,” she blurted. He snapped up at her remark, a nervous vibe emanating from his entire body. She almost wanted to laugh because: Derek, worrying about her? It just made the entire ordeal even more surreal. 

“What do you mean?” he finally spoke, his voice rough with sleep. Somewhere in the back of her mind she noted how foreign his voice sounded to her ears at that moment, as if the darkness and his voice had turned him into another person. Casey glanced at him still holding onto her, and then raised her arm up so he could see. Derek’s wide eyes darted over almost comically to where he was holding on, then back to her face, and then he dropped her wrist like it was fire. 

“When I came to wake you up you said my name, so I thought maybe you were having a bad dream about me, or something,” she stated plainly. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, whether out of embarrassment of annoyance, she wasn’t sure. “I’m fine,” she repeated, just for effect. There was something almost satisfying knowing he was this wrecked over what was probably a bad nightmare about her. 

Derek’s meek attitude was throwing her off. Maybe it was simply because it was literally the middle of the night, but seeing him downcast like this and quiet wasn’t something she was prepared for. 

“Alright then, you woke me up, I’m not getting killed, you can go now,” he muttered, still not meeting her eyes, and choosing not to acknowledge her statement at all. Although the response irked her (could he just thank her for once in his life?), she was glad that the Derek she knew was sort of back. She didn’t really know how the handle the quieter, weird other version of himself she’d just been a witness of. Casey sighed out, so ready to go back to bed.

“Whatever, just don’t be yelling like an idiot again,” she shot back, and promptly walked out of his bedroom, more than happy to get back into her own warm, clean sheets.


	2. Chapter 2

When Casey’s alarm clock rang out 3 hours later, she could feel that tug of drowsiness from being awake earlier. She wanted to just sleep in a few more minutes, but Casey knew right then if she went back to sleep now she’d probably miss school. And Casey McDonald never missed out on school.

Casey slowly began her usual morning routine, and was surprised to notice a distinct lack of a certain someone. Nobody banging on her door to wake up, nobody barging through the restroom door while she was brushing her teeth or in the shower, nobody bumping into her as she did her makeup in the mirror. It was odd not having Derek in the way, but it was also kind of nice.

For the first time in a long time, Casey got ready for school in peace. 

When she walked out downstairs to the family dining table, he was already there, as well as the rest of the family. The McDonald-Venturi household was loud even this early, Casey thought sluggishly. Casey sat down to a very delicious looking plate of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. 

“Nice of Klutzilla to finally join the fam,” snarked Derek. Casey looked at him and his stupid smug face blearily. Ah, there it was.

Everybody at the table visibly stiffened, already waiting for the usual onslaught that was Casey and Derek’s ridiculous arguing. Casey, however, was just too tired this particular morning. She took a sip of her orange juice without breaking eye contact with him, and then decided whether or not she should bring it up.

“Yeah well, if somebody hadn’t been yelli-“

“WHAT! I’m sorry, don’t know what you’re talking about!!” Derek rose his voice unnaturally, cutting off Casey and staring down into his plate, stuffing his face with pancakes. 

“Derek, can we please not have you yelling this early in the morning?” George asked exasperatedly. Casey looked at Derek, confused. Backing down from a fight just like that? He wouldn’t even look her in the eye. She almost spit out her food the moment she noticed beneath the wild nest that was his hair, how red the tips of his ears were.  
He was…embarrassed?

Some kind of sick pleasure rose in her, this giddiness at the fact that he was actually still reeling about the whole thing, enough that he couldn’t even muster up the energy to fight her back or annoy her like usual. 

“Oh George, if only you’d heard him how loud his annoying voice was last night,” Casey laughed sweetly, “and that he nearly woke up the whole 2nd floor with his ridiculous nightmares. Just like a little kid.”

“Casey!” Derek shouted once more, except when they met eyes he didn’t have his usual mischievous glint. So he could dish it out all the time but not take it? She definitely had to milk this one as long as it lasted.

“Is that true Derek? You had a nightmare?” George asked, concern in his voice. Casey glanced at her stepdad, confused at the change of his tone. 

“No dad- I’m fine,” Derek assured his father without looking at him, eating up another spoonful of eggs. 

“Smerek! I thought you didn’t have bad dreams anymore!” Marti squeaked from the other corner of the table. Derek looked at his little sister and smiled softly. Casey blinked at him, always unprepared at how his guard completely changed around the little girl. 

“Don’t worry Smarti, I’m completely fine,” Derek repeated, and then rose up to get ready for school. 

Casey finished up her plate of breakfast, feeling like there was some kind of information she wasn’t aware of. 

The remainder of the day passed pretty quickly and uneventfully. Casey was amazed at how peaceful life could be when Derek didn’t bug her. She briefly reminisced about the feeling of quiet before the Venturis had entered her life. She couldn’t help but think of him throughout the day, to the point where she was feeling annoyed at herself. 

Derek was the bane of her existence, but she never thought about him this much. It was like being exposed to those sides of him that she wasn’t used to ended up unlocking something in her mind. A curiosity about him that was probably always there about her stepbrother, but that she never took the time to entertain. The timid, nervous quiet that he was in the middle of the night, the red ears, even the softness directed at Marti. And then there was the whole thing with the nightmares. What wasn’t he telling her and was it bad enough that he had to actively ignore her throughout the day?

It was stupid, she thought to herself in her room that evening, how all this time she wanted him to leave her alone and now that he was, she was almost craving their stupid banter.

Shortly after that thought, there was a knock at her door. Thinking it was Lizzie or Nora, Casey uttered for them to come in. She lay sprawled on her bed, textbooks spread before her, finishing up her homework for the day.

“Of course, once a keener always a keener,” Derek’s voice came from the doorway. Casey’s head snapped up. What was Derek doing at her door? He stood there leaning along the doorway, trademark smirk in place. Casey tried to swallow the bubbling relief rising in her - screw Derek for making her feel this way (Not that she would ever admit to him – she could see it now: his smugness at her declaration, the fact that she would be just like all the other girls that fawned over him. This was different, damn it!). She played nonchalant, glancing back down to continue her homework. Not that she could concentrate now anyway. 

“I’m surprised you have the brain capacity to remember to actually knock and not just charge in like a caveman,” Casey said sarcastically, scribbling some notes off to the side of her assignment. Derek laughed out loud, and Casey could already feel the bubbly relief from a second ago turn into complete annoyance. It was honestly incredible at how fast her mood switched around him. This is what she wanted anyways, right? 

Idiot.

“What, did you miss me?” Derek said smugly, coming in and closing the door. He sat on her desk chair as if he owned the room and Casey had no choice to glance up at him, especially now that it was just the two of them alone in her room and the fact that he’d come here on his own.

She scoffed, annoyed at how he acted like everything in this whole damn house was his and sat up, narrowing her eyes at him. 

“I was enjoying the wonderful silence the universe bestowed upon me. You’re the one that must’ve missed me if you came in here on your own,” she fired back smoothly. 

“Yeah sure, whatever, if that’s what you wanna think” Derek muttered, running his hand nervously through his messy, messy hair and suddenly unable to meet her eyes. Casey’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He was getting that other way again, that quiet weird that she didn’t know how to deal with. It made her uncomfortable and way too curious.

“What’s wrong with you?” Casey started. He looked up at her door, not able to face her. Then he sighed out dramatically.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, still keeping his eyes pointedly away from hers. 

“Aaaand, you can’t look at me like a normal person?” Casey pressed, completely annoyed now. He swiveled around in her chair to face her, abruptly giving her direct eye contact. Except there was no smirk, no teasing glint in his eye, nothing. He actually looked serious.

“Okay seriously, what the hell is going on?” Casey asked. “I can’t handle you being weird like this.”

“The nightmare, Casey,” he deadpanned.

“What?” Is that all it was? Why did he have to treat everything like it was a federal case? And _she _was the one accused of being the drama queen in the house.  
“Derek, everybody has nightmares-,” Casey began.__

__“Yeah, but my dad can’t know that,” Derek cut her off._ _

__“And why is that?” Casey asked, exasperated. Derek’s eyes went to the floor once more and she simply stared at him._ _

__“I…don’t want him to worry,” he said it quietly, as if the sentiment was somehow not allowed._ _

__“Congratulations, you have real emotions,” Casey said, her voice monotone with disinterest. “What does that have to do with me?”_ _

__He snaked both his hands behind his neck and sighed out, as if asking anything from her was actually causing him physical pain. Which – yes, knowing him, it probably was – but she couldn’t help but enjoy watching him struggle to show that he needed something from her._ _

__Casey had the fleeting thought that she’d find him a lot more admirable if he just acted like a fucking normal person around her. Then she pushed the thought so far back in her head she almost actually forgot she had it. ‘Derek’ and ‘admirable’ weren’t meant to be used in the same sentence. Said subject of her thoughts sighed out dramatically again, pulling her back to reality._ _

__“If…it happens again…and you happen to be the one to find me…don’t tell anybody,” he admitted, wringing his hands together and staring at the floor._ _

__“Derek, you need to tell me what’s going on,” she started, holding her hand up to stop his protesting. “If you tell me why this is such a big deal, I’ll keep all this a secret,” she added._ _

__“Well-“_ _

__“And if you promise to treat me nicer too. I actually did appreciate the quiet today,” she admitted. He narrowed his eyes at her, and she could pinpoint the exact moment the annoying Derek she knew had returned._ _

__“Aww, you know I can’t not completely bother my precious grubber of a stepsister,” he reached out and tugged at the back of her hair, as if to show his point. Casey slapped his hand away, making sure she rolled him a bit away from her too. He exhaled and looked at her expression, mouth set in a straight line._ _

__“Fine. I’ll tone it down a _teensy_ bit,” he uttered, squishing his thumb and index finger together. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. The room grew quiet suddenly as his demeanor changed once more. _ _

__

__

__“Derek…” Casey murmured quietly._ _

__“When my parents first divorced, I started getting nightmares,” he started. Casey stayed quiet and still, unable to believe he was actually confiding in her. He was looking at the floor again. “It was getting worse and worse, to the point where my dad considered taking me to the doctor to get sleeping meds or get my head checked out.”_ _

__“I think you need your head checked out regardless,” Casey shrugged, unable to hold back from making at least one sarcastic comment. He glanced at her, unamused, but then smiled softly as he looked down once more. Casey blinked at that, how in that single moment everything felt normal between them._ _

__And how much she liked that a lot._ _

__“I fought him on it, and managed to fight away the nightmares away somehow. Didn’t wanna have to depend on meds for something like that,” Derek continued._ _

__“Do you think it was the divorce that caused that to happen?” Casey had to ask. Derek shrugged._ _

__“It might’ve been,” he replied. “A lot was changing at that time and everything was pretty overwhelming.”_ _

__“I can’t believe you’re having a normal conversation with me,” Casey muttered in awe. Derek cringed and then huffed, acting as if she'd insulted him instead._ _

__“Just because you don’t interact with anybody and have no friends doesn’t mean I don’t know how to be charming,” he leaned forward, hand over his chest in a full display of arrogance. Rolling her eyes and ignoring the jab, she pressed on the matter._ _

__“Okay, but you don’t act like this with me at all.”_ _

__“Easy, I don’t like to be associated with keeners.”_ _

__“Do you really hate me that much?”_ _

__Derek met her gaze briefly and then tore his eyes away. She hated how impatient she sounded, as if his opinion on her truly mattered in the grand scheme of things. How recently, even before this whole thing with the nightmares started, that the question began to burn at her more. How deep down it almost felt like just once she’d like to receive his approval._ _

__Not that having or not having his approval would change anything. The thing was, she’d never done anything to him to deserve his awful behavior in the first place! She couldn’t help but wonder sometimes, deep down, if she was truly as annoying and as undesirable as he always loved to claim she was. And how their dynamic would be if they just got along._ _

__The room plunged into another awkward silence with Casey unaware of how Derek seemed to be struggling because she was thinking so hard._ _

__“I don’t hate you,” Derek blurted. Casey’s eyes widened and she turned her head to face him, but he’d already risen from his chair, his back to her._ _

__“That’s enough emotional B.S for now,” he said, walking to her door. She could only gape at his back, at how quickly he’d admitted that. She couldn't even be sarcastic, make fun of him, cheer, nothing! It was like her voice had stopped working._ _

__“Remember what I said,” Derek added, and were his ears red again?! What the FUCK. As much as she hated to admit, her stomach flipped, and then he was out of her room so fast it was like he never came in to begin with._ _

__Casey blinked dumbly at the door, wondering what the hell just happened._ _


	3. Chapter 3

That night followed without much else happening, Casey buried in so much homework she didn’t have time to dissect her earlier conversation with Derek. 

When she woke up the next morning, he only shoved her aside while she was putting on makeup. She was annoyed, but also a bit relieved to see him acting like normal. A semi-behaving Derek was good enough for her. Even their arguing was down to a minimum at the dining table. Casey tried to ignore the odd looks her mom and George were giving them. She almost wanted to start a fight with him just to force their gazes somewhere else. 

Sadly, school was a different story. There was a moment between classes where Casey stood at her locker with Emily, switching out her things for the next period. They animatedly spoke about their upcoming weekend plans when Emily’s demeanor changed, her eyes darting to behind Casey, a flirty smile growing on her face. Casey sighed because she knew that look, and she didn’t even have to turn back to see who was coming. 

“Hi, Derek,” Emily said a bit breathlessly. Casey rolled her eyes and turned to get a few last things from her locker, when an arm snaked around her shoulders. Derek nodded towards Emily and then turned to grin at Casey, the mischievous glint back in his eye. 

“No,” Casey said.

“I haven’t said anything!” Derek exclaimed. 

“I can tell you’re going to ask or say something stupid, so I’m saying no,” Casey said, folding her arms. 

“Look, I’ve barely gotten enough sleep these past two nights, I just need you to write one small book report for me,” Derek said coolly, as if she did this kind of stuff for him all the time.

“I don’t know what universe you’re living in right now, but you know that’s not happening,” Casey sighed, rubbing her forehead. 

“Come on Case, why can’t you just-“ Derek started.

“Just because you can’t control your damn nightmarMPFFMHFH-“ Derek’s hand had flew over her mouth, Casey’s voice muffled and he turned them around, grinning back at Emily with an “excuse us please”. She tried to fight out of his grip as they walked but he was surprisingly strong, taking her to a more secluded hallway area. He removed his hand from her mouth and Casey wiped it with her shirt, her eyes flashing at him with anger. Derek raised an eyebrow and grinned cheekily, amused at the whole thing.

“Ugh! I don’t know where your stupid hands have been,” Casey spat, trying to walk away but he gripped her shoulder hard to keep her from getting anywhere. 

“Casey, you can’t talk about the nightmares at all-“

“Why do you care so much about your stupid nightmares? You’re acting like you’re the first person to ever have one!” Casey exclaimed.

“You just can’t tell anybody,” he repeated, a flash of something dark in his eyes. Casey stopped and examined him closely for a bit, before the warning bell interrupted her thoughts. 

“Ugh, whatever! I don’t have time for this! Also, get somebody else to do your damn homework, and go to sleep earlier or something,” she said it all in a rush, heading back to her locker and not turning to look back. 

Thankfully, Casey duly noted, the rest of the day passed without incident. She was so busy worrying about upcoming exams that she almost forgot what happened earlier in the day. She also missed dinner (but went down to the kitchen later on to at least have a small snack so she wouldn’t go to sleep starving), so Casey really hadn’t seen Derek all day since the situation at the lockers. She was fine with that, though.

Later on that night, it was almost like déjà vu. Casey woke up to a pained yell. Groggily, she checked the clock, which read 3am. She waited in bed, blinking, confused if she’d actually heard anything or if she was the one dreaming herself. But then it happened again, another pained sound coming from Derek’s room, although not as loud.

Casey sighed and rose from her bed, putting on her slippers and quietly making her way to his room. She really hoped this wouldn’t become a thing, her having to wake up in the middle of the night to make sure Derek didn’t do anything stupid to hurt himself.

Turning his bedroom doorknob slowly, she walked in and Derek lay there, blanket halfway off his body. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, either. She tried to file that detail elsewhere in mind, focusing on the matter at hand. She could see the shine of his face from sweat all the way from where she stood at the doorway, the moonlight especially bright tonight as it poured into the window. 

“No….no, no no n-no,” Derek heaved, eyebrows furrowed and teeth gritted. Casey wasted no time in trying to wake him up, walking over to his bedside and placed her hand on his shoulder immediately, trying to gently shake him awake. His skin was warm under her fingertips.

“Hey…Derek…wake up,” she tried. He was panting hard, and it looked like a tear had slipped from his eye. Nerves built up in Casey’s stomach as she began to worry. She kept pushing him, a bit harder this time. 

“Derek, you’re having a nightmare, you need to wake up. Derek, hey!” She exclaimed, and shook him a bit more forcefully. In the back of her mind she vaguely remembered her mother telling her never to shake a person awake who was having a nightmare (Lizzie used to get nightmares when she was very young) but Casey couldn’t think of another way to get him to wake up. Besides, it’d worked last time? 

It was kind of scary though, because not even the rousing was enough to get him out of whatever trance he was in this time.

And then something else popped up in her mind, a memory from years ago, when Casey happened to have passed by Lizzie’s old room in their old house one night and found her mom sitting at the side of Lizzie’s bed, gently running her hand over Lizzie’s hair, trying to keep the youngest McDonald sibling calm. 

Shakily, she sat down at the side of his bed and nervously reached out, her hand (wow, why was she trembling so much?) running over tufts of his hair.

“Derek,” Casey said softly, though her stomach was full of knots. “Please wake up.” She repeated the motion, running her hand over his hair, even going so far as to bury her fingers into the messy frizz. She was amazed at how soft his hair actually was. He murmured something inaudible, and she saw how his eyebrows went somewhat back to normal.   
Whatever she was doing seemed to be working. She turned on his bedside lamp and kept running her hand along his hair. 

“Wake up Derek,” she continued, her soft voice almost unrecognizable to even herself. His breathing slowly seemed to be returning to normal. She was almost dazed at how peaceful his expression had become, didn’t know such an appearance was possible on this boy. Without thinking, her hand slid down from his hair to the side of his face. His skin was a bit rough just as she expected any teenage boy’s skin to be, especially near his jawline where she could feel the beginnings of facial hair.

It was right when she was contemplating the fact that he actually did have facial hair (because what else could make this all more absurd than it already was) that his eyes slowly opened. Casey’s heart rose to her throat and she started to move her hand when he reached up and grabbed her wrist again. 

They stayed like that for a few seconds, his hand on hers that remained on his face, staring at each other. Casey felt the burn of shame and embarrassment at the realization of what she had just been doing and thinking. For a second, she really hadn’t regarded him as her stepbrother at all. Realizing it at that moment just made it even more terrifying. 

He looked completely wrecked and exhausted, eyes half lidded, his face slightly damp.

“…It happened again, didn’t it?” was all Derek said. His voice was rough again, that roughness that created the illusion that he could be somebody else.

“Y-yeah…” Casey choked out, not sure of what else to say. She realized how much her heart was pounding. He didn’t looked as grossed out as she thought he would, with the way she’d been practically petting him awake. He let go of her hand and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Casey quickly took her hand back into her lap, sitting there and not really knowing what to do with herself. Actually, she thought, _she could definitely go back to her room and not talk about this ever again._ But then he spoke, and it was like she’d never had the thought at all. 

“Sorry,” she heard him say softly. Unmoving, she slowly darted her eyes to him but he was looking at the ceiling. She could still tell that his eyes looked a bit glassy. It seemed like there was something about the dead of night that turned Derek Venturi into another person, and Casey didn’t know what to do with this information. He was being so…emotional yet _normal_ and it was so weird!

“I even slept early…ugh, what the hell is going on...” he muttered to himself, bringing up a fist to rub his eyes again. 

“I could stay, you know,” Casey spoke aloud, before snapping her mouth tightly shut. What the hell was she even saying? Chewing on her lip, an obvious nervous tic, she turned and looked over at Derek who was staring at her, wide-eyed. 

“Uhh...,” Derek seemed to be speechless, which was something else she couldn’t have fathomed herself being able to do. No insults, no leering, just outright shock. 

“I-I’ll sit on the floor! Read a book! Just ‘til you fall asleep,” Casey rambled, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She reluctantly looked at Derek and he blinked, as if he couldn’t believe what she’d just said, and then nodded softly.

“O…Okay,” he said cautiously. She muttered something about being right back and then quickly returned to her room to get the first book she could find off her shelf. Casey was tired but her stomach felt light. It was like…she wanted to get the chance to experience this different kind of Derek for as long as she could. She tried not to think about anything else that might suggest.

Arriving back into his room, she closed the door slowly and quietly. She didn’t want any of the other kids waltzing through for a bathroom break or whatever normal things people woke up for in the middle of the night and stumbling upon this, whatever was happening between them at the moment. Derek’s bedside lamp cast a soft, dim yellow glow in the room and he laid on his side facing the door, facing her. His eyes were half open as if he were in some kind of daze. 

At some point within the minute Casey had gone to her room, he’d put on a muscle shirt. She felt a wave of endearment at the fact that he was trying to be respectable, even though he’d been shirtless around her many times before. He looked plenty tired and Casey was slightly relieved (and maybe a bit disappointed?) knowing she probably didn’t have to stay that long after all. 

Wordlessly, Casey walked over and sat on the floor, her back resting along the side of his bed. She softly took a deep breath and opened the book, willing herself to read, even if the words more than likely wouldn’t register to her brain.

For a minute or two it was quiet. Too quiet. Casey was afraid to turn her head to face him, afraid of meeting that new gaze she wasn’t used to. Based on his breathing, she thought he definitely wasn’t asleep yet. So why wasn’t he saying anything?

It was awkward.

“I used to do this for Lizzie,” she spoke suddenly, softly, afraid that if she spoke louder she’d break whatever weird spell they both seemed to be under. She could feel his gaze burning through the back of her head and her skin prickled with nerves. “She’d get nightmares too when she was really small, so I’d come and give her company sometimes,” she quickly added. 

It was still quiet. Casey tried to still her breathing. Maybe he had fallen asleep? She lifted her head from her reading and glanced around at the room in front of her. Clothes thrown haphazardly around the floor, the faint smell of cologne, the band posters on the wall. Casey realized she’d never really been in a boy’s room just like this before. And then it felt like alarm bells were going off in her brain because _hello she really needed to stop regarding her stepbrother as just another normal teenager._ Getting rid of familial titles with Derek implied too many things she wasn’t prepared to acknowledge yet. 

As if on cue, while Casey kept her gaze in front of her while having this dumb internal battle, she heard the smallest shift along Derek’s bed, and then his fingers were in her hair. 

It was like her throat was squeezing shut, her stomach dropping to the floor. She couldn’t move, her body rigid as she stared wide-eyed at the wall and Casey desperately tried to understand why she kept reacting so viscerally like this to him.

She’d picked up her hair before coming to wake him up, and his fingers played with the loose strands of her messy ponytail. It was so weird to think that these were the same hands that pushed her around, that always found ways to pull her hair instead and annoy her. Then the tip of one of his fingers happened to brush lightly along the back of her neck and she almost shivered, her arms erupting in goosebumps and it was too much, it was all too much. 

“We’re not related,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to be nice to me.”

It sounded like he wanted Casey to leave but at the same time his hands were telling a different story. His finger brushed against her neck again and then she let out a shaky breath, closing her book and standing up abruptly. 

“Hey-,” he started. 

“Sleep well, Derek,” Casey cut him off, managing to get her voice to work, and then promptly left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to get done with summer classes~ so hopefully I'll have time to write more of this story :p

The next few days, somehow, Casey and Derek fall back (as much as they can) into their usual pattern of him annoying the hell out of her. They don’t speak of the nightmares, they don’t speak about what happened that night. She tries to ignore the memory of his gentle touch and the way his voice sounded, stops obsessing over what he was going to say before she left, though Casey hates to admit that’s all she could think of the day after it all happened. 

She decides to try and distance herself from him a bit. School is a bit easier because all their classes aren’t the same, but obviously it’s a bit harder at home when she lives with the guy. Then it’s like he’s doing all he can just to rile her up. Whatever weird vibe was thrumming between them that night seems to have been completely obliterated. She’s oddly relieved, really. Right?

One particular morning nearly a week after the whole incident, Casey was at the dining table hastily removing items from her backpack, triple checking that she did in fact have her book report printed, and her wallet, and the right notes and materials for the day’s classes before she left. She’d placed some of her paperwork and folders near her just at the edge of the table while she sorted the rest of her belongings in her backpack, finally satisfied enough to leave for the day.

She didn’t notice Derek sauntering down the stairs, dark circles under his eyes and walking like he didn’t have only 5 minutes to get ready, eat breakfast, and leave for school. When he went around behind her the table, he darted his hand out, wordlessly swiping at what she’d just organized at the edge of the table and sending it all crashing loudly to the floor. 

He kept walking into the kitchen, not before she gasped and swiftly spun around to face him, eyes lit up with anger. Annoyingly, he was already looking at her. 

“De-REK!” she yelled, her voice breaking into a high shrill at the second half of his name. He winced at the sound, shoulders rising and eyes closing for a moment before he crossed his arms to stare at her. 

“Are you kidding me?!” she shouted, motioning her hand to the mess of her hard work now thrown on the floor.

“You finally looked at me,” he said, his voice monotone and his expression tired yet unreadable. She blinked at him, eyes darting around his piercing gaze. For a second it almost felt like Derek could read her mind with how intently he was looking at her and her brain picked that exact moment to realize just how quiet it was in the house. Everybody had already left for the day.

Her stomach began churning with nerves because since when did he care when she did and didn’t look at him? The question was at the tip of her tongue but the silence in the house wasn’t helping and Casey continued to stare back at Derek, eyebrow arched in confusion, unable to say anything back.

Sensing the conversation going nowhere, Derek finally turned around, yawning loudly and running a hand through his hair continuing on like he didn’t just manage to flip her entire morning upside down. 

First period of the school day had Casey replaying what happened over and over in her mind. She bit on the tip of her pen as she stared at the back of the head of the person in front of her. So much that she almost missed being called on to answer a question on the lesson her teacher had been going over. Had she really not been looking at him in the eyes the past few days? She knew she’d been trying to distance herself a bit after what happened but-

Casey gasped, loudly. A few people turned around to look at the source of the noise, her teacher also pausing to look at her, clearly not amused. Heat quickly flooded through Casey’s face, more so when she could clearly imagine just how Derek would be laughing at her. 

“S-Sorry…uh, go ahead,” she stuttered, and the attention went back to the front of the classroom. Casey looked down to scribble on her paper mindlessly, willing her heart to slow down from the rush of embarrassment. 

She’d only just come to a crazy realization that Derek had increased his rudeness and bad attitude to her recently because he was worried about what’d happened that night as well. And his comment today, too. He was trying to get things back to “normal”, whatever the hell that meant for them. Her scribbling became a bit more vigorous, pen nearly ripping the paper because that also meant whatever was happening between them was affecting him too, even if he showed it in a stupid way. It made everything feel more real and significant and she didn’t know how to feel.

The bell for the end of class rang loudly before Casey could come to any more weird realizations. While walking to her next class, still deep in thought, Emily appeared at her side.

“Hey Case! …Case? Casey!” Emily shouted, snapping Casey out of her musing. She blinked and turned to look at her friend, grinning sheepishly. That was the third time already that her thoughts had distracted her from reality. It wasn’t even past 9am yet!

“Hey Em! Sorry! I was just…spacing out. You know, S-Space Case and all, haha!" Casey laughed, the sound unnatural. "What’s up?” she added, hoping to occupy her mind with something else. 

“Are you okay, girl?” Emily asked with a lopsided smile. “You’re usually more alert than this.”

“I’m fine! I just…” Casey thought up an excuse, no way thinking to tell her best friend yet about what was happening at home. “I didn’t get enough sleep! So I’ve kind of been out of it this morning,” she said nervously.

“Wow, really? Is something going on at home?” Emily pressed. Casey’s eyes widened. How did she manage to hit the nail on the head so easily? “W-Why do you ask?” 

“Well, Sam was just telling me right now in first period about how worried he is for Derek. Apparently Derek’s been sleeping in class for days and he looks really exhausted?” Emily explained, ending her statement in tone of a question as if Casey had all the answers. 

“Well I mean there’s nothing going on at home, maybe Sam’s exaggera-“ Casey said, stopping abruptly when her gaze managed to find a very recognizable head among the crowd down the hall coming in their direction. Emily’s gaze turned to follow where Casey was looking and there was Derek, looking utterly drained. 

As he got closer to where they walked, Casey could make out the dark circles under his eyes, made more visible by the terrible lighting in the hallway. His skin didn’t looked flushed like usual and he had a slight hunch to his walk that added to his generally dark aura. He passed the girls without a glance or word.

“I-I guess…I’ll have to ask later if he’s alright,” Casey muttered, the pieces continuing to fall together. 

\--

With Derek too exhausted to do anything, really, the rest of the day passed without incident. Casey was able to get her mind mostly back in check with the rest of her classes and focus on her work. After a particularly exciting poetry club meeting, Casey finally arrived at home, actually glad to be back after a weird and busy day.

When she opened the door, however, she was met with an unusual sight. Not only was the family not bustling and loud at the table and kitchen for dinner like usual, Derek was asleep on the couch instead of his beloved chair and Marti sat at the stairs, elbows on her knees and chin on her hands looking like she was thinking very hard about something. 

“Uh…what’s going on?” Casey asked, closing the door behind her. Marti glanced over to Casey and then widened her eyes, bringing her finger to her lips.

“Shh Casey!” the youngest Venturi whispered loudly. She may as well have been talking at normal volume, Casey thought, smiling to herself. She placed her backpack on the floor near the coat rack softly and quietly walked over to her younger step sister, crouching down so she was at eye level with Marti who hadn’t moved from her spot at the stairs. 

“What’s going on, Marti?” Casey repeated in a whisper, truly at a loss of what was happening.

“Dad and Nora are at a teacher meetup for Lizzie and Edwin!” Marti continued whispering at a high volume. 

“You mean a parent-teacher meeting?” Casey softly corrected her.

“Yeah! And then they told me they’d get us all pizza for dinner! Smerek was supposed to be taking care of me, but he fell asleep. It’s not bedtime yet! There’s even hockey on TV,” Marti explained to Casey, and when she turned around to check, sure enough, the low hum of whoever was playing came through the tinny speakers. 

“I was here watching over Smerek. He looked really tired, so I didn’t wanna bother him,” Marti added softly, her voice carrying a tone of worry. Casey pat her on the head.

“Don’t worry Marti, he’ll be okay. I…I’ll take care of him,” Casey uttered before she could stop to think what she was saying. Marti blinked at her, confusion gracing the little girl’s features. 

“But…you guys are always fighting!” she pointed out. Casey smiled nervously, her eyes darting around the room. 

“I promise right now I won’t fight with him, okay?” Casey reassured her. “Say, Marti,” she added, “have you finished your homework?” Marti shook her head. 

“Okay, well you don’t want to worry your dad or my mom, so why don’t you go ahead and get that done and I’ll stay here to watch over Derek. When they get back with the pizza, I’ll call you down. And if you need help, you can quietly come down and ask me for help?” Casey offered. 

Marti looked at her for a second, as if she were analyzing if there were some sort of ulterior motive behind everything (there really wasn’t, Casey was actually kind of worried for Derek at this point too). Then she was nodding as if she was also able to sense the truth in Casey’s eyes. 

“Okay, thanks Marti,” Casey smiled with another pat to her little sister’s head, and Marti stood from her spot on the stairs to climb them up to her room. 

Casey stood back up to her full height and turned around, assessing the rest of the situation. She sighed, walking over to the couch where Derek lay on his stomach, sprawled over the entire length of it, breathing softly. She stood for a moment, just staring at his sleeping figure before sighing again and reaching over the couch for the blanket that was neatly folded over it. 

She opened up the blanket and spread it over him, resisting the urge to tuck him in. Where the hell were all these over protective feelings coming from? The fact she even did this gesture to begin with was so weird. He drove her crazy. Why did she want to tuck him in?!

Huffing quietly to herself, she decided to take a seat at his favorite chair to wait until their parents got home when a hand reached out to tightly grasp her arm. Casey’s eyes widened and she jumped wildly, hurriedly turning her neck to look down at who the hand was connected to. 

“You’re _awake _!” Casey whispered loudly, suppressing a scream from the violent scare Derek had just given her in order not to worry Marti.__

__“Marti isn’t the quietest whisperer,” he muttered, unmoving except for the arm that was stuck out holding on to her. She felt a spike of nervousness with realization._ _

__“What…did you hear?” she asked cautiously, keeping her voice low._ _

__“You’re gonna take care of me?” he picked up his head a bit to glance at her, and there was a funny smile on his face, something between silly and boyish at the same time. She narrowed her eyes at him and grimaced, hating that she actually felt her heart fluttering for a second from whatever his dumb face seemed to be doing._ _

__“Since when do you want _me_ to take care of _you_?” Casey asked incredulously, a similar echo of a question that had been plaguing her mind since what happened earlier that morning. The way he was slowly attaching himself to her was something she really couldn’t comprehend.__

______“Since that means that you’ll do whatever I say,” he replied in his usual smug tone, seemingly unaffected by whatever inner turmoil Casey was going through. She scoffed, but right as she was about to pull away he used his free hand to raise himself off the couch, a devious grin on his face. With an annoyingly brute strength (what did they even have him doing at hockey practice?!), he managed to pull her back hard enough with the hand that had gripped her and with a small yelp she was forcibly sat onto the now empty cushion of the couch._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ugh! Stop-,“ Casey attempted to flee, trying to get back up when Derek casually plopped his head on her lap, facing away from her so that all she saw was his hair sticking out in all directions across her thighs. Her brows furrowed and eyes widened, mouth open in shock, her body going rigid._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What. Are. You. _Doing _?” Casey gritted out, angrily spitting out the last word. Her heart was pounding wildly in her rib cage. They never touched like this because he never let her, always avoiding affection from Casey those rare times in the past he showed he could actually be a decent person.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Having you take care of me,” he answered calmly. Casey sucked in a breath, forcing herself to calm down for her own sake (and Marti’s. Casey made a promise and she’d stick by it! No fighting!)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Get off, Derek.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If you really wanted me to get off of you, you could just push me off, you know,” he said, and she could hear the challenge in his voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Whatever game he was playing at the moment, she could play too, Casey decided. She made a point of loudly sighing out, slumping back into the old cushions, feigning defeat. She raised her elbow onto the arm of the couch next to her and leaned her head onto her hand. The low hum of the TV came back into her awareness, and she recalled her conversation with Emily earlier in the day. They sat in silence for a few moments._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With a smirk, Casey sunk her hand into his hair, definitely not missing how she felt his whole body stiffen and then shiver at the contact. She bit her lip to hold in her laughter, affectionately running her hand from the nape of his neck to the top of his head. If he wanted to be touchy, she could definitely be touchy. Especially if it meant getting the upper hand on him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was nothing normal about that thought process, a voice in the back of her head reminded, but she was too strung in by Derek at the moment to care._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“H-Hey…what are you-“ his voice rose uncharacteristically, almost causing her to burst out laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why are you sleeping in class, Derek?” Casey asked softly, interrupting him while continuing to play with his hair. Hopefully the 180 on her attitude was enough to make him answer. She thought since she hadn’t woken up in the middle of the night lately that the nightmares had been subsiding._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was quiet for a long time. Casey was mesmerized a bit, honestly, at how surreal everything felt. Here she was, sitting with her stepbrother’s head in her lap while she played with his hair. What? She kept watching her fingers splayed in his hair, hair that was ridiculously soft, how was it that soft, she couldn’t get over it-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I didn’t want you to worry,” Derek spoke aloud into the (mostly) silent living room. She felt it again, the way her heart began to pound in that weird anticipation. It was the way he said it, the way his voice sounded different, lower and serious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“…Worry about what?” her voice sounded far away to her own ears. Casey’s hand was frozen in his hair as she stared blankly at the TV, trying not to freak out. Comparing the current vibe to the one she felt the night all this began wasn’t making things easier._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And then she glanced down, eyes almost bugging out of her head when she realized he’d put his hand over hers, the one still unmoving in his hair. He hadn’t even answered her question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why’d you stop?” he murmured. He started to turn to face her and Casey could feel the panic in her rising because there was no way she could handle looking at him right now, especially not in this position!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was a loud sound of keys jingling from outside into the front door and Casey gasped, head snapping up to the source of the sound. Instantly, the guilt began to wash over her and then George and Nora and the rest of the kids were loudly entering the doorway. The next few seconds happened way too fast._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We’re home!” George bellowed. “I brought pizza-“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wha- Case!” Derek yelled, before sailing straight down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Casey had stood ramrod straight, not bothering to take account of the position Derek was in. She’d stood up so forcefully that he’d rolled off her and fell to the floor with a loud thud. Casey looked at the heap that was Derek on the ground with big eyes, before looking at the door to find everybody staring at her with confused expressions. Lizzie and Edwin burst out into laughter, Edwin taking the box from George’s hands and walking to the table himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Casey knew her face was completely red and she made a small pained noise in defeat, bending down and attempting to pick up her now annoyed stepbrother. He swatted her hand away and struggled to pick himself up, both teenagers turning to face their parents. George stood with his hands on his hips, blinking and mouth slightly open in confusion. Nora lingered behind, eyebrow raised, an amused smile on her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, what’s happening here?” George asked, and Casey hated how his tone sounded genuinely curious. She cringed, trying to think of anything, before Marti came rushing down the stairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Casey! You forgot to call me for the pizza!” she stopped at the foot of the stairs and stared at the four of them, trying to assess the situation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Were you two fighting again?” she asked, the disappointment evident in her voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No!” Casey rushed to answer. At the moment, she kind of almost wish they had been, or else all this wouldn’t have felt so ridiculous. Derek smoothly threw his arm around Casey’s shoulders, and even though that was something he did a lot, right now it was feeling a lot different. She tried to get away, but he held on tighter and threw a big grin at his little sister._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just bonding with our dear Klutzilla here!” he announced, acting like everything that had just transpired in the last 10 minutes had been completely normal. George closed his eyes and shook his head, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation and walking over to the dining area._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Whatever, as long as you weren’t fighting,” he muttered. Nora raised her eyebrows at Casey, giving her a look as if to say 'we're watching you', and followed behind George. Casey glanced at Derek, who was still grinning like an idiot, and then she sighed and finally managed to push Derek off of her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She couldn’t bring herself to look at him through dinner, and although she was still kind of thrown off at everything that’d happened throughout the day, Casey still wanted to finish their conversation from earlier._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was determined to see this whole situation through, no matter what._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I didn't expect this update to take a month, but real life got in the way ;__; I estimate around 1-2 chapters left now..

It’s was around half past eleven in the night when Casey found herself back in Derek’s room. She’d done her homework, her nightly routine, even waited for the rest of the kids and her parents to fall asleep and just walked right into his room like it was something she did all the time. 

She stood in the middle of his floor in her pajamas, bunny slippers and all, hands on her hips with a stern expression. He was just lying there on his bed, flipping through a magazine and not even looking at her.

“Haven’t you ever heard of a thing called knocking?” Derek asked in a bored tone. Casey sighed, walking over to his bed and taking a seat on the floor with her back against the mattress just like she did the last time she was in here, faced away from him. 

“I’m sure you were expecting me,” Casey said simply, looking down and fidgeting with her hands in her lap. Without turning to look at him, all she could hear was the flipping of pages. 

“You know I don’t do this feelings crap,” he said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“This isn’t about feelings, this is about your health. You’re not sleeping and it’s affecting you and your schoolwork. Even worse than usual.”

“And how would you know what I get up to at night? You being a weirdo and stalking me or something?”

“Emily told me that Sam told her you’ve been sleeping in class.” She heard him practically slap the magazine closed and throw it to the floor.

“Of course she did! That guy can’t keep his damn mouth shut,” he growled, and she still hadn’t turned to look at him yet. She could feel herself getting anxious, because the point wasn’t to come here to piss him off. As annoying as he was, as much as they fought whenever they talked, Casey just wanted to have a calm discussion with him for once.

She should’ve known better. She slowly turned her head to find him sitting up, kind of hunched over himself and scowling away from her at a random corner of the room. He looked frustrated and Casey swallowed, turning around completely, trying to choose her next words carefully.

It was kind of scary because she’s never really seen him seriously frustrated like this, his cool demeanor totally washed out.

She put her hands at the edge of his bed and hid half of her face beneath them, looking at him apprehensively with big eyes. He really hadn’t looked at her at all since she came in.

“I’m just trying to help y-” she tried to explain, when he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, and she could almost feel the upcoming outburst.

“You don’t have to help!” he shouted. She winced because everybody was definitely asleep, and a fight this late at night wasn’t good for anybody in the house, really. He continued to shout as if it was clear as day.

“You don’t have to do anything! Just go continue being a perfect little good girl, why would you even give a shit-” 

She stood up before she could stop herself, irritated at his immediate disregard of her. Casey climbed onto his bed, putting all her weight on her knee. She used one hand to grab the back of his neck while she slammed the other hand over his mouth to shut him up. He sort of jumped, caught off guard and darted his eyes towards her, completely shocked.

“Because I _care about you_ ,” she replied quietly but harshly, putting emphasis on the last three words. That’s what it all was, right? She was worried about him, so be it! Her heart was pounding and Derek just blinked at her, his eyes still ridiculously wide. Then she felt the tip of his tongue graze her palm and she blanched, immediately pulling away.

“Ugh, De-rek!” She really tried not to yell, wiping her hand on her pajama pants. 

“You don’t need to care about me,” he muttered, and when she looked at him he was avoiding her gaze again. Even in the dim light of his room she could see the red that ran across his face and her breath caught in her throat. 

The fact that she kept causing him to react like this was doing things to her. Casey hated that she could actually feel the stupid butterflies in her stomach, and that she had to fight the urge to hug him. His vulnerability was kind of cute and it made her not know what to do with herself.

“I’m staying here tonight,” she said matter-of-factly, like it was normal to declare wanting to comfort your stepbrother in the middle of the night.

Derek whipped his face over to look at her in absolute disbelief. “What?!”

“Quiet! Just until you fall asleep,” she said, taking a seat on his bed. She held a finger up. “One, you really need to keep it down unless you want the entire house after us. Two, you obviously haven’t been sleeping so I’ll keep you company until you do. Three, we are going to talk about this whether you like it or not.”

He opened his mouth to protest but she kept her hand up to stop him from saying anything.

“Nope! You either talk to me or your dad about it. You need to get whatever it is out of your system. I think that would help a lot with your nightmares. Now, go to sleep,” she waved her hand about in the air, as if to signal him to get going.

Derek just stared at her for a bit before picking up his blanket, glaring at her and mumbling to himself. She raised an eyebrow at him and he just kept mumbling annoyingly, before laying down and turning over to his side so that his back was facing her. 

He didn’t tell her to leave. She blinked for a moment and then smiled, the warmth pooling in her chest once more. 

\--

Casey sat on Derek’s bed with her back against the headboard, staring at the wall in front of her, and trying not to focus that she was actually purposefully in bed with Derek.

“I’d prefer it the light was off, y’know,” Derek said aloud, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“R-Right.” She sighed and tried to ignore any weird connotations her brain was conjuring up from that statement, and reached over to switch off his bedside lamp. 

The room became shrouded in darkness, and Casey could see the moonlight pouring through the usual gap between the curtains of his window. 

The silence was deafening. The only thing Casey could really hear was the hum of the air conditioner and her own thudding heart. Derek sighed out loud dramatically, which meant the silence was probably getting to him too.

“I keep having nightmares of you guys leaving me, or getting hurt,” he said suddenly, and all of Casey’s attention became attuned to the person lying next to her. She could barely make out his figure in the darkness, but she kept staring at his direction anyway.

“Why…do you think that’s happening?” Casey asked, careful to avoid asking him what he’d actually seen for fear of triggering a darker spiral of thoughts, but excited that he was finally confiding in her. He got quiet again, and it was almost like he never spoke at all. She clasped her hands together, fidgeting nervously with her fingers again.

“I don’t know,” he finally responded. “I’ve just been missing my mom a lot lately, and I haven’t seen her all year.” 

Casey’s heart ached because she understood the feeling. She rarely saw her dad and she still found herself missing the old days when her family was still happy and united. It’d been a while since she had felt the frustration of the fact that she had to experience all of that fall apart. With a shaky breath, Casey forced herself to remember how happy her mother was now and that that’s all that mattered in the long run.

The two of them had never talked about all the things they’d gone through because of the divorces. And then it hit her that through the mask of his indifference, Derek definitely went through the exact same feelings and frustrations she did as well. 

Back in the present, Casey found herself involuntarily reaching out to the general direction of Derek’s head until she found his hair, lazily running her hand along it. She was already used to being a source of comfort, and it turned out that didn’t change when it came to Derek either. 

“I’m sorry,” was all Casey could think to say. “You know it’s the same with me and my Dad too. It…it meant a l-lot when you called him back that one time,” she stuttered. Casey never told him that she knew he was the one that convinced her dad to come back during his last visit, but now felt like the right time to thank him. 

He huffed a quiet laugh. “I guess nobody’s good at keeping secrets here.”

“A-Also, as much trouble as you like to stir up, you know everybody would be genuinely worried if anything happened to you,” Casey added softly, her hand paused at the nape of his neck, her touch feather light against his skin. She felt him shiver slightly, and for some reason that emboldened her to keep going.

“I..I’d also be worried, too. I-we’re not going anywhere,” Casey hurriedly corrected herself, to include her family in that statement as well. Her face was burning and her free palm felt clammy because she knew she’d just said something embarrassing. And knowing Derek, he’d find a way to make fun of her for it later. Despite all that, however, it just felt like it was the one thing she had to say to him. 

“Keep playing with my hair. It feels nice,” Derek said instead, and Casey hadn’t even realized that she’d stopped. There was some sort of calm buzzing in the atmosphere between them at the moment, but it also felt like Casey’s heart was going to leap from her throat. 

Silently, she scooted a bit closer to him and began to thread her fingers through the soft strands once again.

“Your hair is so soft,” she mumbled, more to herself than anything. Then he shifted a bit with a yawn, and Casey remembered again just who she was speaking to.

“I bet yours is softer,” Derek murmured, his voice low. He sounded half asleep and more than likely didn’t even realize what he’d just said, but Casey found that her stomach was still doing backflips. She sighed aloud, frustrated with herself and laid her head against the backboard. 

The silence gradually returned but this time it wasn’t as deafening. Casey glanced at the window again and eventually she could hear Derek’s breathing when he finally fell asleep. While listening, Casey unconsciously tried to match her rhythm to his. 

The last thing Casey remembered from that night was staring at the strip of Derek’s bedroom floor lit up by the moonlight, her thoughts fuzzy and eyelids heavy.

\--

When Casey’s eyes opened the next morning, the first thing she noticed was how blue everything looked. There was a soft glow coming from the window that made the entire room look like she could’ve been underwater.

She’d woken up lying on her back and glanced blearily around. Based on the amount of light coming in from outside, her alarm would probably be going off soon. However, instead of getting up like usual, Casey found her eyes closing once again, snuggling a little into the warmth beside her. 

There were a few seconds of pure comfort before she slowly begin to register her surroundings. First was the breathing that was right next to her ear. Second was the weight around her stomach. Third was the warmth that she felt encasing her entire left side, all the way down to her toes.

Casey’s eyes flew open, her body going completely still when the events of the previous night all finally came flooding in, and she remembered she wasn’t actually in her own room.

She was sleeping next to the bane of her existence _in his room_ , and they were _cuddling_. 

Somehow throughout the night, Casey had ended up on her back and Derek had rolled over completely, throwing an arm over her stomach and pressing his entire body to her side. Thankfully, he was covered from the waist down with a thick blanket. She probably would’ve started screaming if she saw their legs had been intertwined together too. 

Now that Casey was fully aware of what was going on, her heart hammered in her chest and the speed of her breathing slowly started to increase. She was overwhelmed with the context of everything, especially with how close they physically were. In all the time she Casey knew Derek, she had never been _this close_ to him. If she turned her head just a little to the left, their noses would be touching! This was INSANE. 

Even through the absurdity of the entire situation, she didn’t think to lift his arm and sneak away, like she probably should have. There was a nagging thought way in the back of her mind, a burning curiosity she’d been pushing down lately that wanted to see how far she could take this. What his reaction would be like right now if she got closer and cuddled him back, her body aching for more warmth. The thought came rushing into her full force, the feeling so intense she could feel her pulse pounding in her ears. 

Before Casey could actually bring herself to do anything, she felt his body twitch a little, like he was dreaming. She blinked, suddenly aware that they’d actually slept through the whole night with no interruption from nightmares of any sort. 

He shifted slightly then, the arm that was around her tightening slightly. Casey was hyper-aware of his body against hers, the places of hers he touched feeling like they were on fire. He was curling in on himself, which only brought them closer together. He nearly buried his face in her neck and Casey’s eyes bugged out at the ceiling. His forehead was touching her cheek and she could feel the puffs of his breaths against her throat. 

It tickled her skin but it felt nice and Casey grabbed onto his arm snaked around her waist for dear life, nearly trembling from how good it felt. She couldn’t believe how her body was reacting to all of this and she opened her mouth to wake him up, to try to stop all of this before she lost her self-control.

Then the alarm went off and it was so loud (because of course Derek needed something obnoxiously loud to wake him up) Casey yelped, her whole body twitching violently in surprise. Derek groaned out, obviously annoyed at the sound. She’d brought her arms up to her chest and didn’t move at all while Derek mindlessly lifted himself up and reached over her to turn off the alarm. When she glanced at him, she noticed his eyes were still closed. 

After Derek successfully turned off his alarm, he sagged back to his original position next to her. Casey stared at the ceiling, eyes wide, unable to say anything. She registered doors closing and opening across the hall, footsteps roaming up and down while the rest of their families started to get ready for the day. 

She felt fear when she realized that _everybody else_ would find out she wasn’t in her room.

Just as Casey was feeling another breakdown sneaking up on her for a whole different reason, Derek moved again. He made some weird unintelligible sounds, trying to stretch his body, when his legs came crashing into hers. She felt his body go stiff and then he lifted his head abruptly, looking right down at her. She met his gaze, his eyes wild with realization and her mind was completely and utterly blank. He opened his mouth to say something (or yell, probably) when there was a loud knock at the door. 

Without thinking, Casey slapped her hand over his mouth to keep him from saying anything and they both looked at each other wide-eyed in panic. 

“Derek!” Lizzie shouted from outside his door, knocking rapidly once more. Derek grabbed Casey’s wrist to pull her hand away from mouth and held it tightly, bringing a finger to his lips. 

“Yeah?” his voice was still low and raspy from just waking up. 

“Can I come in?” the younger McDonald asked impatiently. Casey rose up immediately and Derek grabbed her by the shoulder. Before she could protest, he lifted up the big blanket that had been covering him and roughly pulled her into him. 

“I’m gonna hide you,” Derek whispered desperately and he threw the blanket over the both of them so only Derek’s head and shoulders could be seen peeking out of the blanket. If Casey was panicking before, she was probably going to pass out now. 

It was dark, and her entire body was pressed up against his. The warmth Casey was so interested in earlier now engulfed her completely. She was beyond overwhelmed now, yet that ridiculous burning curiosity remained. He held her tightly to him, one arm under her neck and holding her head to his chest and his other arm around her waist. It felt like the hand that was on her back was burning a hole through her shirt, his skin felt like it was on fire. She guessed he did all this so that the lump of them under the blanket wouldn’t look so suspicious, but it made everything so much worse for her.

“What do you want, Lizzie?” Derek asked irritably. With Casey’s hands splayed against the upper part of his stomach, she could feel the rumble of his voice vibrating through his body. She swallowed, her heart beating wildly in her rib cage at experiencing such a small, yet intimate thing. When she heard Derek’s bedroom door open, she could also feel his heart pounding like crazy.

“Do you know where Casey is?” she heard Lizzie ask. Casey was completely frozen under the blanket, not even breathing.

“What are you talking about?” Derek asked, and Casey swore he was trying to bring her closer into his body.

“Well, she’s not in her room,” Lizzie said flatly, as if he knew about all her whereabouts. Well, right now he did, but that wasn’t the point. 

“How would I know where she’s at then? I was asleep, you know, I don’t keep track of all of Klutzilla’s whereabouts,” Derek answered with a huff. Casey let out the tiniest breath and pressed her face closer into his chest, and she felt his grip tighten some more.

Derek saw Lizzie glance briefly at the floor beneath his bed before meeting his gaze again. 

“…I guess you’re right,” she blinked at him, beginning to step out of the doorway.

“Lock the door while you’re at it. I don’t want anybody else coming in here to ask me dumb things,” Derek added. He fought to keep his expression as neutral as possible. Lizzie just stared at him for a few seconds and Derek couldn’t believe he could feel the scrutiny from her gaze, but she ended up doing as she was told. 

Casey was still reeling about how much of their bodies were touching when she finally heard the click of the door being shut. They waited until they heard footsteps slowly retreating from the door, and sighed out loud with relief. 

With a free arm, Casey pushed the blanket off of them, feeling a welcome rush of cold air hit her face and body. All she wanted to do was tell him off, get out of here, and get ready for school. 

“I can’t believe-” Casey started, beginning to peel herself away from his grip. She was fully ready to fight him on such a rash, risky decision to hide her like this next to him when he gripped onto her tighter, refusing to let her get away. 

The words died in her throat immediately. Alarm bells were ringing off in her head, and all she could think was that this was seriously _dangerous_. Casey let out a shaky breath when she felt his hand slide up her back to bring her closer, his legs rubbing against hers. She wasn’t even wearing a bra, for god’s sake. Her chest was pressed up against his stomach, and now the temperature was just way too _hot_ -

“I didn’t have any nightmares,” Casey felt Derek whisper lowly into her hair. He spoke calmly, but his pounding heartbeat said otherwise. For some reason that one extra detail made everything feel way too real and Casey felt everything at once: arousal, shame, nerves, a lump in her throat. She gripped his shirt roughly at his side. 

“D-Derek,” she croaked, barely audible. She couldn’t deal with this right now. “I need to get ready for school.”

Derek went still, like her voice had brought him back to reality. Slowly, he released his hold on her and she forced herself to get up, swinging her legs over the side of his bed all while avoiding his gaze. 

Casey looked down and just stared for a while at her stupid bunny slippers on the floor, feeling her stomach tighten up in knots instantly. She sighed out and looked up at the ceiling. As much as she wanted to run away, too much had happened already. Neither of them deserved that.

Reluctantly, she turned her head slightly to where he lay. Derek was on his back now, arms spread across the bed. He was also looking up and chose not to look at her. She couldn’t sense any kind of emotion from his blank stare. 

“I’ll…be back in here later on. You should start getting ready,” Casey said carefully, before getting up to leave. She saw him just close his eyes in response, breathing softly.


End file.
